(Viewtiful Joe x My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic)
(Part 1 of 2)
--The Space Base Movie Land--
They say that in space, no one can hear you scream--but at present, the corridor of this particular metallic complex was utterly alive with the sounds of kicking, punching, and defiant cries. Conveyor belts were, every once in a while, forced to move unconscious bodies as they became littered with them over time.
The cause of all of this irrational, inexplicable chaos? Justice. Movie-style.
Two people--a young man and woman both clad in tights--propelled themselves off of the faces of mindless monochrome-clothed foot soldiers by way of simultaneous kicks. The man in red twisted repeatedly in midair to avoid retaliation; the woman in blue fired several shots from twin plasma pistols to cover her flight path.
Normally, these two worked as a team; a nigh-invincible duo. Today, however, they were a trio. A pint-sized periwinkle pegasus, lost on a journey, had recently joined them whilst looking for her home. Fortunately, it appeared she shared just as much penchant for fighting as the two superheroes she was with.
Rainbow Dash's hind legs drove themselves against a soldier's skull, allowing her to bounce away just as easily. Due to the innate speed suggested by her name, she was the first of the team to land back on solid ground--the humans did so just afterwards. Their fight was not yet won, however, and the three assumed a back-to-back stance as they became surrounded by a few dozen more of the foes they'd just vanquished.
"Yo, Silvia!" said Viewtiful Joe. "Check the map on your V-Watch and tell us just how much longer this place goes on, wouldja?"
"Checking..." Sexy Silvia--Joe's fighting partner and all-around main squeeze--pressed a couple of buttons on the V-Watch on her wrist. When it responded with beeps and a display, she replied, "The bad guys we're looking for should be right behind the next door!"
Joe perked up upon hearing this. "Oh, this is the last room? Why didn't you say so earlier? Yo, Dash! I got an idea."
Rainbow Dash smiled. "Should I be scared?"
"Probably," Silvia said with a laugh.
"Ha, ha! Funny, girls. But what I was thinking about was..." He whispered into Rainbow Dash's ear. Rainbow Dash's face first contorted in surprise... and then broke out into an even larger, toothy grin.
"All right," she said, "but you get to do this once and exactly once. Also, if you fall off, not my problem."
"YES!" He quickly jumped onto Rainbow Dash's back. Rainbow Dash then locked her sights on the enemies around them--the enemies who would soon be no more.
"Let's ride," she said.
(VFX POWER ACTIVATED: MACH SPEED)
"GO, GO! WOO-HOOOOOOOOOO!"
Their combined speed auras sent a shockwave rippling through the room. Only Silvia and her powers were able to withstand the small storm kicked up as baddies were scattered like bowling pins. Joyful adrenaline coursed through both Joe and Dash--they knew that together, right now, they were unstoppable.
In other words, all was right in the multiverse.
"Man, that was way more awesome than I thought it'd be," said Rainbow Dash when the two finally came to a stop in the cleared room. "It's weird, though--in every world I've been to, humans keep trying to mount and ride me. At least this time it was killer fun."
"Doesn't riding happen in your world?" asked Silvia. "I mean... you're little ponies."
Rainbow Dash shook her head. "Humans don't exist there. At least not as far as I know."
"Ouch. Well, it looks like you two make a good team, at any rate. Now it's time to show you our combination attack! Joe, baby, let's hit it!"
"You got it, Silv! Six Cannon! Come on!"
A large bazooka teleported into the room--so large that it took both heroes to brace against it as they aimed for the door.
One gigantic plasma blast later, they had a way out, into the room just beyond. The trio made their way towards it.
"You know..." Joe said, "Did that seem a little too easy for you? Or are we just getting better?"
"It also could be the supersonic help that's been with us this whole time," Silvia said.
Rainbow Dash held back a mild blush. "Ehhh, it's probably both of those things."
Just then, the three reached the final, massive room... and were greeted with hundreds of foot soldiers for the trouble. A huge mutant lion, covered in flames, stood front and center.
"...or it could be because the Big Bads were witholding their main force," Rainbow Dash gulped.
"Fire Leo!" Joe pointed at the large lion. "You've been leading this charge? Hope your game's better than it was last time we tangled."
"You'll know in about three minutes, shrimp-hero," Leo said, "but I'm hardly alone in this." He called up to the top of the room, which Joe, Silvia and Dash had to crane their necks to glimpse, such was its height. "Hey, Doc! They finally made it."
"Ah," said a booming, gravelly voice from above. "So the Viewtifools have finally arrived. Welcome, guests of honor! I'm so glad you could be present to witness your imminent doom firsthand!"
"Doctor Cranken, too?" Silvia said upon seeing the suited dwarf behind the glass window built into the wall.
Joe shook his head. "Oh, man--him I'm a little less thrilled about."
Rainbow Dash put her hoof to her head in confusion. "Cranking? Fire... Cat? Someone let a pony in on some details, please?"
"Fire Leo and Doctor Cranken. Supreme muscle, mad scientist... and top generals of the Jadow and Gedow, respectively," said Silvia. "Looks like we've been fighting against not one, but two evil organizations bent on taking over all movies!"
"We beat 'em before," said Joe. "Guess they're just sore losers. How'd you guys come back, anyway? Pretty sure the both of you met grisly, discombobulating ends."
"We both cashed in our Sequel Clauses," said Fire Leo. "There's always a 'Revenge' movie if the original does well." He tossed two canned film reels at Joe and Silvia. "Read 'em and weep."
Silvia read the labels on the tins. "'Viewtiful Joe in Fire Leo's Revenge'... 'Sexy Silvia Versus the Return of Multi-Armed Doctor Cranken'... he's right, Joe! If these movies got made, it makes sense why they're here!"
Joe sighed and rolled his eyes. "Only in show business."
"Beautiful, isn't it?" said Cranken. "But we have no intention of wasting our return! Welcome to my... no, our greatest plan ever! You've no doubt noticed the glorious alliance between the Jadow and Gedow. Rest assured you will all be in the loving grip of our dominating hands soon!"
"...ewwww," said Rainbow Dash. "No thanks."
"With our combined resources," continued Doctor Cranken, "we have managed to scan the multiverse, and found one particular Movie Land containing infinite power for us to siphon! Behold!"
The wall on the far side if the room, beyond the assembled Jadow and Gedow, raised upwards, revealing a shimmering screen. A movie projector flickered to life, causing color to flood the display before them, and the universe on the other side to take shape.
Joe and Silvia mentally combed their vast combined movie knowledge, trying to recognize just what Movie Land the bad guys were aiming for. However, even before the quadrapedal citizenry of the world before them came into focus, Rainbow Dash was already beside herself with shock:
"Th-... that's home! That's Equestria!"
On instinct, she flew above the heads of all, and took off flying for the screen... only to bump her head against Ponyville as if it were a flat painting. She managed to make it back to her companions, but far dizzier for her efforts.
"Ahh, so you recognize this place!" crowed Cranken from above. "You're a denizen, you say? That makes this all the more delicious! We'll be sure to talk more once you don't have any heroic companions to back you up. Gedow force, incapacitate!"
Fire Leo recognized his cue, pointing towards the Viewtiful duo. "Jadow troops, attack!"
And the fight was on once again... however, this time, things went markedly differently than in previous rooms. Never had Joe and Silvia faced so many goons at once--and with a general for support at that! Their VFX Powers were used to their fullest, allowing them to take a few dozen on at once, and dodge several others... but in the end, they were kicked and punched to the brink of consciousness, thrown around like rag dolls, and finally tossed in front of the still-under-construction Equestrian gateway, groaning under the pain of their wounds.
Joe and Silvia's suits--along with their superpowers--left them, their limits having been stressed and broken. They were now back in their casual clothes, just a normal man and woman... and unmoving.
"You leave them alone!" Rainbow Dash cried, still futilely zooming amongst the crowd. There was just too little room for her to use any of her best offensive speed techniques, and eventually she too was thrown against the portal, albeit in much better condition. She looked at Joe and Silvia, who weren't so lucky.
"You... you guys..." She prodded at both of them, with no visible effect. They clearly were out of the game, but, Rainbow Dash noticed, she herself had barely been touched. They must not have considered her much of a threat; probably because this was the first time this bunch had ever seen her.
Once the full extent of Joe and Silvia's condition dawned on Rainbow Dash, sniffles escaped her, unbidden. Two had fallen protecting her and her world... and now, it was down to just one.
Their sacrifices would not be in vain.
She hastily wiped her eyes, turned around, stepped towards the sneering army alone.
"Before I do anything... tell me. If you make it through that gateway and into Equestria, what happens next?"
"Glad you asked!" said Cranken. "It's quite simple, really: our armies will march all over your land, making your infinite supply of magic our infinite supply of magic."
"Meaning an infinite source of power to take over all the Movie Lands with!" added Leo. "Never woulda guessed that power would've come from such a... cute place, but hey..." He bared his fangs. "...beggars can't be choosers."
Rainbow Dash nodded. "Too true. Thanks, you guys. That's all I needed to make my decision." She looked over to Joe and Silvia. "Mind if I mourn?"
Fire Leo scoffed. "You've some bad taste, kid. But I'm only a monster on the outside. Do what you gotta."
She turned back again, walked over to Joe, and once she was sure the bad guys were busy gloating, tugged at the V-Watch on his arm with her teeth. "Grrr... darn you... come off..."
Just then, Joe opened his eyes, saw what Dash was doing, and put two and two together. "Whoa. Hey, Dash. You sure you wanna try this?"
Rainbow Dash jumped back. "Whoa, you're not dead! Awesome!"
Joe chuckled, then clutched his side again in pain. "Nnnnnope, not dead. But we're not going anywhere for a while. I... we're real sorry."
"Don't be. I never would've made it this far alone. And at this point..." She finally managed to get the V-Watch off. "There's nothing else to try, right? We're the only ones right now who are capable of defending my home against Celestia knows what. Whether we have a chance or not, I'd rather be the pony who did something instead of allowing myself to be pushed around. Besides..." She sighed and closed her eyes, her mind wandering to Twilight, Applejack, Rarity and the others. "Any of my friends would do the same for me in my place."
Upon hearing her words, Joe instantly understood: clearly, within this pony beat the heart of a true, selfless hero. Her gambit just might stand to work after all.
"...right. Look, when the V-Watch starts to glow--and it will once it gets on your arm if it likes ya'--there's a special phrase I say... it's, it's..."
He never got to that last part. He fainted once more a second later.
"Joe? Joe...?" Dash sighed. "Nuts to it." With one last tug, she finally managed to get the V-Watch off and between her teeth. She flung it high into the air a second later, out of the reach of all.
"Are you done mourning for your pathetic friends?" said Doctor Cranken. "Stand aside, little pony, so that we may march!"
Dash turned to face the Jadow and Gedow, her face the very picture of confidence, her heart hoping her foes wouldn't see past the ruse. She was indeed scared--but adrenaline was what Rainbow Dash lived on, and today, it would serve her well.
Her right front hoof and gaze both pointed skyward.
Epic, atmospheric theme music cued itself out of nowhere.
It was time.
"Grandma Dash once said: if one day you end up having to save the world... be prepared to do the impossible."
Fire Leo was nonplussed. "You know, something's been bugging me ever since you showed up. Just who are you, anyway?"
"Heh. Glad you asked."
The second Rainbow Dash said those words, the V-Watch landed perfectly on her raised front hoof, snapped in place... and began to glow.
Heh. Knew you'd like me. Now what's the phrase Joe always used to turn you on? I'd heard it often enough... oh, right, that's it! I hope..."
She stood up on her hind legs while crossing her front ones, and Fire Leo's eyes squinted as he looked more closely at the glow coming from her. Those eyes then widened in surprise and fear.
"H-hey, wait just a sec! Isn't that..."
"FRIENDSHIP A GO-GO, BABY!"
Her transformation was instant, but if one were to be playing this story back at 1/100th speed, this is undoubtedly what they would have seen:
1!) A light blue, form fitting, flexible and lightly armored fabric covering Rainbow Dash's body, not unlike a second coat.
2!) Twin copies of her cutie mark--a white cloud striking out with a rainbow-colored lightning bolt--forming on both sides of Rainbow Dash's torso.
3!) Golden thunderbolts pasting themselves onto her new suit's legs.
4!) A large, light blue helmet materializing on top of her head, sporting a small, golden lightning bolt at its front apex.
GO!) Because justice demands such things, a foot-long rainbow-colored scarf, which flapped in the wind on command, regardless of whether or not any wind was actually present!
A new heroine was born... soon to become a new legend.
"You wanna know who I am?" said Dash in a voice whose force surprised even herself. "I'll tell you who I am!"
Her suit, sensing a fight scene, slipped aviator's goggles over her eyes from the inside her helmet. With a battle cry, she darted into the crowd, her acceleration now instantaneous, and cut through the sea of foot soldiers like a hot knife through butter... except replace the butter with paper, and the knife with fire. Mooks toppled across all sides, none able to touch her as she slammed into most of them with the force of two oncoming trucks. Her straight flight path turned into several angled ones, a rainbow trailing behind the supreme butt-kicking she was leaving in her wake.
"The pegasus who soars amongst the heavens... destined to outfly all..."
The soldiers combined what was left of their ranks, focusing all of their now to try and take her out. They leapt at her, screaming. Dash bucked at her new targets as fast as she could make them out; launching them, sending them all flying, all the while air-cartwheeling through the melee. She landed, then used her hind legs to perform a mighty jump.
(VFX POWER ACTIVATED: SLOW)
The universe slowed to a crawl, and Dash smiled at her new advantage. This was almost too much, good, too fun... too easy! However, she wasn't complaining one bit. After curling herself herself into a ball, she bounced against all of the bodies she'd left in midair, sending them recoiling in several directions. Finally, she grabbed one of them by her teeth, twirled him around above her head, then let go, sending him downward as hard as she could.
She deactivated the VFX power. With normal physics back in play, bodies flew into the walls hard enough to cause explosions--and the one who had been tossed downward hit the ground with a shockwave that cleared the rendered the zone clear of rifraff.
Amidst the conquered battlefield, the pegasus landed, glaring defiantly at Fire Leo--the only one to withstand the onslaught.
"Wonderbolt Dash at your service, suckers."
Doctor Cranken watched in horror as he witnessed the decimation of his forces. That tiny little... thing was able to harness Captain Blue's VFX Powers? This was all he needed. Now the schedule would have to be accelerated. "Leo," he called out, "keep that filthy filly busy while I finish opening the portal!"
"Ain't gotta tell me twice," Leo said, stomping towards the pegasus. "Hey there, little horsey. I got me a shield that could use some nice patching up. Feel like being the glue?"
Wonderbolt Dash sized him up, then remembered something. "Joe told me once about fighting some guy who looks and behaves an awful lot like you. You're a real hothead all over, huh? If I tried to just kick you normally, I wouldn't get anywhere but burned!"
"That'd be me, yep. That your way of saying you surrender?"
(VFX POWER ACTIVATED: MACH SPEED)
She knew it was his weakness, but she didn't know that in the second it took to look at Leo, she would be through him in the space of an eyeblink. Once she realized that she was now looking directly at the wall of the other end of the room, she turned around to see Leo still flying in midair.
Talk about intense! Was this what happened when two speed forces combined? Deciding to test their limits, she jumped towards the still-airborne Leo, somersaulted, and with her hind legs, sent a bicycle kick to his midsection.
The kicks kept coming, with a mighty two-legged buck acting as the five-hundredth and last. The whole thing had taken all of three seconds. When she was done, she realized that an aura of blue flames had covered her entire body. Suitably impressed, she looked straight at Leo to check on their effect... and was beyond surprised to see him smiling! What the hay?
"Guess he didn't tell you everything," Leo said, getting in her face. "Those feel even more like pillow-taps than when he does it!"
With that, he spun in place, claws lashing out, eventually making contact several times with the pony's face by way of his knuckles at super speed. Combined with fire of his own, Wonderbolt Dash was knocked for a loop, and fell, dizzy, to the floor, whereupon her transformation was lost.
Plain old Rainbow Dash was back, and while she wasn't too sure of her chances now... darn it all, she was going to try. However, as Fire Leo repeatedly rocketed towards her, his claws ablaze in a berserker fury, it was all her normal self could do simply to dodge! Who would have thought such a big guy could have such fast limbs?
"Dash!" A familiar female voice called out just then. Rainbow Dash looked behind herself--yes! Silvia was back up! "Wanna trade?"
Dash dodged another quintet of claw swipes, only to be knocked aside by a shield bash from Leo. "Trade?"
Silvia held up her own V-Watch.
Rainbow Dash tossed back Joe's temporarily disabled V-Watch, and caught Silvia's. One more "Friendship-A-Go-Go-Baby!" later and she was back in action--right down to the outfit. "Hmm. Doesn't seem all that different. I wonder why Silvia would-"
(VFX POWER ACTIVATED: REPLAY)
She looked to her left, then her right, and was happily astonished to find out that the world was now three hundred percent cooler. Wonderbolt Dash, liking these new odds, turned back to face Leo, vengeance now on her mind.
"Well, well, glad to see there's still some fight left in you." Always up for a challenge, the flaming feline beckoned with one claw. "Come at me."
"CHAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!" the three Dashes cried in unison while doing just that. Fire Leo braced himself for a frontal attack... which never came. One full second before any of the Dashes could strike him, they split off in different directions, and the next thing Leo felt was a cannonball striking him in the small of his back.
Then his head.
Then, after he let his guard down to figure out just what was going on, his gut. The three Wonderbolts took turns hitting wherever one of them saw an exposed space--and even when spinning, there was no escape for the Jadow general.
"Hey, wait, what the--I ain't never (ow!) seen (OW!) this (rarrr!) kinda power before..."
"Yeah, we get that a lot," said the Dashes, right before rolling through Leo's legs and toppling him to the ground. Seeing him helpless, the three took the time to brainstorm:
"You girls up for a Sonic Rainboom?"
"But will it work?"
"If we do it just right."
"Okay, then, let's get ready!"
The Dashes soared nearly a hundred feet up, and after making sure their flight paths were in sync, flew around Leo's general vicinity, accelerating over time and placing him in the center of a giant twister. Silvia and Joe (once more awake) held onto nearby girders for safety.
Leo, unable to draw a bead on any one of them while encased in the tornado, spun every which way in desperation... but it didn't help. Soon enough, he saw three very confident winged ponies enter the tornado with him, front hooves outstretched at full speed.
And just before the moment of impact, three voices echoed through the room, over even the wind itself:
(VFX POWER ACTIVATED: SLOW)
Power rippled through Fire Leo--far too much power for him to stand--and he promptly exploded on the spot.
"YEAH!" Wonderbolt Dash--no longer in triplicate--whooped for joy. "What do you think of that?"
Doctor Cranken sighed and shook his head. "Prequel villains. Never prepared for crossovers or revivals, I swear..." His hands gripped the levers on his console. "Fine, then. you've forced my hand..."
The wall burst open, revealing that one fourth of the massive structure they'd all been in had actually all along been concealing a mechanized monstrosity! A gleaming, metallic humanoid body, right down to the joints and limbs, of which... Rainbow Dash counted as she saw several more limbs than anyone could have expected.
"...all eight of them!" Doctor Cranken swiped away at Dash, who just barely managed to avoid this new multi-armed terror.
In the midst of all this, the movie screen flashed, coming into full focus. The Ponyville populace finally noticed what was going on, and began to gather.
"Ahhh," said Doctor Cranken, "the gateway is complete! The master plan still continues, unabated!"
"NO!" said Dash. "We can't let him get-"
But it was too late. Within seconds, the giant mech was through, and scores larger in proportion than poor Ponyville. Ponies scattered and screamed as Cranken stomped around, helpless and unprepared.
"So sorry to tell you this, heroes," he cackled, "but there are times when even evil catches a break!"
It appears that the revived Doctor Cranken has finally achieved his lifelong goal! What fate lies in store for our hero and heroines? Does Equestria boast ANY sort of defense to handle such an unexpected otherworldly threat? These and the answers to other questions to come in the second part of "Climax Pegasus!"... that is, if we survive that long!
Till then... ta ta!